Friday, April 24, 2009

Can I Pay To Have You Give My Sacrament Talk For Me???

It must be really awful being a Bishop. No one wants to talk to you.

If you see your Bishop coming at you in the hall you avoid eye contact for fear that he is going to ask to see you for an appointment. Of course we all know what happens in these appointments; he asks you to do something that you have no idea how to do (like teach children-lots of children- how to sing) and of course you know that you will agree to do it (I don't even know how to lead music) and then you're in that FIRE-Refiners Fire. OR-WORSE-if you make eye contact you may have to speak to him. If you start speaking to him he might remember that it's been awhile since you spoke in Sacrament Meeting!!!!! ARGH!!!! So I avoid eye contact with my Bishop at all costs.

Now if your phone rings you have caller ID, thank heaven. So if I see that it's the Bishop, I ask Jade or the kids to get the phone. That way, if it is for me I can have one of the kids give him some lame excuse-like I'm cooking dinner or running the vacuum.

Well, I let my guard down and I returned the phone call that I missed from my Bishop. I thought he probably called for Jade, but NO! He asked me to give a talk in Sacrament this Sunday. ARGH!!! See, no one wants to talk to the Bishop-how sad is that???

Good news is that I found someone who will give my talk for me Sunday and it's only going to cost me $27.77 for him to write it and another $55.55 for him to give the talk. Now if you want to hear a FUNNY/INTERESTING talk you might want to cough up $5.56 because he charges $33.33 to write a FUNNY/INTERESTING talk. It's up to you!

Want a laugh??? Check this out:

Another funny I found on this blog:

Because there's nothing more annoying than when your wife uses your hymn book.


Brittanie said...

this is SO funny!

The Hagers said...

Your talk was great. You should give one EVERY week. Don't you love when the youth speakers are done early and you look at the clock and there are HOURS left! Now at least we are both done for while.